Ekka eats

Despite being a lover of fine food, I'm partial to the odd dose of junk food, and my number one weakness (besides cheeseburgers) would have to be the dagwood dog. 

No one else seems to share my enthusiasm for them, though. Fine – I know the concept of a battered sausage on a stick is disgusting, and it's possible the appeal lies in the fact that I only get to eat them once a year when the Ekka rolls into town (a good thing for my waistline and my arteries).

When selecting a dagwood dog, it's important to observe these rules:

1. Don't buy the first one you see. There's a big difference between a bad dagwood dog and a good dagwood dog. You want one with plenty of batter, and make sure you instruct the vendor not to skimp on the tomato sauce. 

2. I like to match my dagwood dog with a can of Pasito. No other soft drink will do. Water? Forget it! You need something to cut through the copious amounts of grease.

3. Don't be tempted by accompaniments such as hot chips. This will undoubtedly prompt your internal organs to complain.

4. Avoid sideshow alley rides for at least 45 minutes after ingesting your dagwood dog. Specifically the Gravitron.

I've also put together a rookie's guide of food to avoid at the Ekka:

Buttered corn cob: What the hell is this? Vegetables on a stick? No no no. A travesty to carnival food. Grab your corn, your vitamin water and your Diabetic Living showbag and take a hike, pal.

Fairy floss in a bucket: Most often seen on the arm of anorexic-looking adolescent girls. It may be fat-free, sweetheart, but your pancreas has just packed its bags and purchased a one-way ticket to Del Boca Vista, Florida.

Pizza: Four words – "at your own risk".

Cream-filled "waffles": Yeah, I don't know who came up with this concept but they need to be shot. According to my North Queenslander husband, these were all the rage at the Mackay Show when he was a kid. Whatever. This is the big smoke, and we've no room for your small-town pseudo treats. Wanna see what a real Ekka dessert looks like? It's called a strawberry ice-cream.

What's your favourite Ekka treat, and what carnival food wouldn't you touch with a ten-foot pole?